


I'm Really Going Through It

by jisunggiee



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm Sorry, M/M, Smut, There may be trigger warnings, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, baby boy jisung, babyboyjisung, bottom jisung, bottomjisung, everyone loves jisung, he's in my pocket, if uncomfortable please don't read, if you tapped on this you agree, it's literally three am while this comes out, jisung is the cutest softest babyboy ever, jisung's the only full sub in stray kids, jisungandeveryone
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-12
Updated: 2019-10-20
Packaged: 2019-11-16 02:02:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 12
Words: 18,410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18085295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jisunggiee/pseuds/jisunggiee
Summary: if you're like me, there's always some way to procrastinate





	1. our sunshine

**Author's Note:**

> bottom!jisung  
> top!straykids  
> you'll know where the smut'll be  
> (+) = smut  
> (-+) = slight smut  
> enjoy !

jisung pouted as he saw his hyungs be all cuddly on the couch in the studio. as he himself sat at the desk, far from the couple. he, chan and changbin stopped by the studio to continue writing and producing songs. 

note, all three of them. but now it's only jisung working on writing and the other two be cute and lovey dovey together. jisung scribbled the useless words he wrote down. 

his mind was too clouded with thoughts it was driving his ability to write songs away. the thing is, jisung had feelings for chan. but later on when the trio worked together and just hung out at the dorms jisung noticed he had, not only feelings for chan, but for changbin also.

and he knows it must be wrong, liking two of your best friends. and he hates himself for it, he's humiliated with himself. he can't have these feelings towards both of them, they're both already dating. with each other.  
not jisung. 

why would they even like him, he was a whiny kid. a no good. he can't even finish this one song. he bit his lip and dropped his pen on his small journal and covered his eyes.

" hey sungie?"  
" yeah hyung?" 

jisung felt tears welling up in his eyes, threatening to fall. he blinked rapidly to make them go away. still not looking at chan who called him.  
" are you alright?"

jisung almost shook his head but took a deep breathe to calm himself down. hands shaking. " i'm fine hyung."  
his shaky hands began closing his journal and putting his things in his bag. he stood up from his chair about to get his shoes. 

hands placed themselves gently on his own shaky ones, taking them and smoothly rubbing them with their thumb.  
" sungie -"

jisung attempted to pull his hands away but the other pair gripped them a bit more tighter. jisung looked up and saw chan, the younger let the tears fall and looked away slowly.  
changbin came behind him and wrapped his arms around his small waist. softly rubbing circles on his hips. at this point jisung was sobbing. 

chan brought one of his hands to jisung's chin, making him look up at him. " what's wrong baby squirrel?"  
jisung shut his eyes and shook his head, more tears coming out. eyes like a water faucet.

" no. please don't call me that."  
jisung weakly said. the two older ones frowned,  
" why? you love our nicknames for you." changbin said. jisung shivering at his hot breath hitting his neck. 

" i can't -"  
" sungie."

jisung looked at chan in the eyes. seeing concern shown, staring at him.  
" tell us what's wrong. we'll help in any way we can."

jisung averted his eyes.  
" that's just it. it's you two. it's always been you two."  
" hon what do you mean?"  
" i love you two, i really do. and i'm really happy for you just - just forget i said anything. please let me go."

he waited for them to release him but they didn't. he ripped away his hands from chan's and pulled changbin's arms off his waist. quickly grabbing his bag and walking out. forgetting his shoes. 

and it's at this point jisung realizes he's stupid. it's freezing outside and he stepped on a piece of glass. and he tried to contain his whimpers of pain in, not wanting to bring attention. 

he let out a breath as he opened the door to their dorm. felix was the first one to notice his odd way of walking, " what's wrong?"  
" stepped on a glass."

jisung struggled to continue walking further, wincing at the pain, felix noticed this and ran to him. " here i'll carry you."  
jisung wrapped his arms around the freckled boy's shoulder, while the other picked him up.

he was carried to his room and was softly placed down on his bed. felix rushing to get an aid kit. he came back and bandaged jisung's foot up after some small painful screams. 

" that was hard to get out, it was so deep in. why were you walking with no shoes outside?"

jisung looked down, " i kinda stormed out of the studio, i was trying to get away quickly i forgot my shoes."

" did you leave because of them?"  
jisung nodded as an answer. felix sighed and joined jisung on the bed letting the other cuddle up against him. 

" you know if i was gay, i would definitely go after your ass."  
" felix you are gay."  
" not for you."  
" i hate you."  
" nah you love me."

it stayed quiet, felix waiting for jisung to say it with a wide grin playing on his face.  
" i love you best friend."  
" i know you do."  
he earned a smack on his arm, he chuckled,  
" i love you too."

-

felix woke up, jisung still in his arms as they laid on the bed. he decided to stay longer, loving seeing jisung finally sleep peacefully. he also just didn't want to get up yet. he heard the door open. he looked and saw chan and changbin. 

he glared and shooed them to go out, pointing at the sleeping jisung.  
" no we need to talk to him."  
" he's sleeping. get out."  
" this is important."  
" no jisung sleeping is important."

" best friend?"  
felix snapped his head away from the older ones and immediately brought attention to jisung.

" i'm sorry. they wouldn't leave."  
jisung sleepily looked towards the other two. he whined and tightened his grip on felix's shirt. felix's eyes softening.

" i have to go best friend. they want to talk to you." felix softly said, running his fingers softly through jisung's hair. not missing the glares from the other two in the room. jisung reluctantly let go of felix with a pout. felix left the room after hearing jisung's soft,  
" bye best friend."

jisung curled under the blanket, waiting for the other two to speak.  
" jisung. we have something to tell you."  
" well i know that already why else would you be in here."  
" sungie."

jisung shut his mouth, closing his eyes. he felt them join him on the bed, he didn't move though. giving up on trying to get away. being in the middle of two people you love, and they don't return the feelings hurts. you want to tell them you love em so much but they wouldn't think twice about it cause they would never return the feelings. 

changbin placed himself in front of him, chan behind him. changbin brought a hand up to jisung's cheek,  
" hon, we're gonna be honest with you. we know you love me, and chan hyung."

jisung glared up at him, " so you just hurt me by showing off that you two are together?!"  
" no. we just didn't know how to ask you if you wanted to be with us. no hatred, just loving each other equally."

chan said behind him, placing a soft comforting kiss on his neck.  
" but y'all don't love me. why would you ask me that. to shove it in my face -"  
" i love you."

they both said in unison, no hesitation. jisung baffled froze,  
" what?"

" baby, this whole time we've been in love with you, and each other. we were just scared -"  
" yes!"

changbin looked at him, " hm?"  
" yes, i love you. i want to be with you two."

he said, a blush on his face evident. changbin smiled, his eyes trailing down to the younger's lips, " can i?"

jisung nodded, gripping changbin's shirt, pulling him into the kiss. tears coming out jisung's eyes as their lips moved together. chan's hands on his hips in a calm protective grip. jisung pulled away from changbin with a gummy smile. 

he turned towards chan and kissed him on the lips also. savoring the moment he's been waiting for.  
" our baby's so cute." 

jisung blushed at chan's words. they both gave him a kiss on his cheek. wrapping their arms around him,  
" we'll be here when you wake up baby."

jisung let out a relieved sigh and closed his eyes. a smile on his face.


	2. how i hurt you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> innocent!jisung  
> binsung  
> tw // bullying, abuse

jisung's cute. we all say this, cause we know this.  
jisung's pure and would never hurt a soul even if he was forced to. he'd hurt himself rather than let a stranger be damaged. he has such a kind soul and a golden heart that could never be traded for anything evil. 

he's a beauty to look at. his full cheeks, his lips, his doe eyes. his body. changbin could admire him all day. he especially loves it when he wears a flower crown. sitting softly on his hair with his cute gummy smile that can light up the whole room. even the world at that. and he was so soft and thankful he could call the younger his.

changbin couldn't bare to see such an innocent soul be hurt. that's why he hates himself for what he did. 

" binnie hyung! look i made a new flower crown!" jisung rushed up to him at his locker to show off his new soft white flowers on his locks. changbin smiled wide and kissed jisung on both his cheeks.  
" it looks amazing baby, you look amazing."

changbin replied taking in he younger's outfit. a pink sweater with tight white jeans, showing off the younger's ass well. changbin checking him out with hungry eyes.

" thank you hyung. you look good today too, you always do." jisung whispered the last part, a blush spreading across his cheeks. fiddling with his fingers.

changbin cooed and squeezed jisung in a tight hug. " you're so cute squirrely."

jisung giggled and hugged the older back. " i have to go to now baby. i'll see you later alright?".

jisung nodded and gave a peck on changbin's cheek, " bye hyung."  
changbin smiled and headed to the front doors of the school. jisung giggling to himself and walking to class.

once he walked in he saw his best friends hyunjin, seungmin and felix.  
" jisungie!"  
" hi guys."

hyunjin pulled him in a hug, " how are you?"  
" i'm good."

they sat down after jisung greeted the other two. the teacher came in and commanded the class to sit down. 

-

changbin was walking home and saw one of his friends approaching him.  
" hey my man, we found a new target you wanna join us?"  
" alright but don't cross the line this time."  
" can't promise anything."

they walked back the way changbin was walking from and changbin realized they were heading towards the high school. 

" this is the high school..?"  
" yeah c'mon."

changbin didn't like the feeling in his chest but he still followed his friend and soon they met up at the back where the others were.  
" alright the bell rung he's gonna come out." 

the door opened and changbin almost choked on air when he saw his jisung come out. unaware of what was gonna happen.

the crew walked up to him cornering him against the wall.  
" hi!"  
changbin almost cried at jisung's enthusiastic greeting. 

" hey pretty boy. mind if we play with you for a bit."  
" not at all! we can head to the park and play hide n seek."  
" no not that kind of play."

changbin gritted his teeth when he saw his friend place a hand on jisung's thigh. jisung tensing up but softly pushing the boy's hand.  
" please don't touch me there. binnie hyung says he's the only one who can touch me."  
changbin felt warmth in his heart when he heard jisung say those words.

" binnie hyung?"  
" yeah, changbin hyung. he's my boyfriend -"

changbin's eyes widen. he almost forgot his image. he freaked out that he didn't know what to do, saying the first words that came out,  
" what the fuck."  
they all turned towards him, " that's a fucking lie."

jisung looked at him confused,  
" w - what?"  
" this faggot? why would i be dating him?"

changbin hated the look jisung gave him. he was hurting the younger, and he knew it. and didn't stop.  
" b - but -"

" since he's free we can do whatever we want."  
" no. i don't belong to you and i'm not free. i'm changbin's."

changbin gripped jisung's wrist so strong the younger whimpered from the pain.  
" shut up."  
" no, you came to see me today -"  
" i said shut up!"

changbin's grip became unbearable for jisung to handle, causing the younger to cry out,  
" hyung you're hurting me!"

two other boys came forward, one taking jisung's other wrist forcing it against the wall. the other yanking his precious flower crown off. tears already spilling out of jisung's eyes. 

the guy tore his crown apart throwing the shreds onto the ground and smushing it with his foot. jisung sobbing. 

the tallest one of the crew came up to jisung, changbin hating how he made jisung look much more fragile and smaller than he already is.

" you're such a treat."  
" b - but i'm not a cake o - or a dessert."  
" ah,"

the taller one continued moving his filthy hands down to the younger's ass squeezing it, " but you sure got a nice one."

jisung kicked the guy's shin. making the other push jisung down the ground harshly. falling into the wet dirt, staining his clothes. changbin backing away.  
" hyung where a - are you going?"  
" have fun boys."

the crew walked towards jisung, surrounding him. changbin closing his eyes and walking away from the scene hearing jisung's first scream of pain. changbin put his hands in his pockets as tears came out when he heard the continuation of punches and kicks being thrown along with insults. jisung choking on sobs.

jisung looked as his boyfriend walked away, tears falling. feeling the intense pain. feeling so helpless, useless. but nothing hurt more than seeing changbin disappear, only a silhouette fading in the mere sunset. the pain in his heart and body unbearable. but nothing, not even the beating he's receiving, could compare to the pain in his heart. 

he didn't realize they stopped and left him there alone. now in the dark night, no one around to help him. no one, not even changbin, his own boyfriend. 

he weakly pulled out his phone, wincing at the pain that shot throughout his whole body. dialing a number.  
" hyung, can you come get me?"

" at the school."  
the call ended immediately a few minutes later he heard a car screech by, knocking down something.  
" jisung! what happened?!"  
chan couldn't barely hear jisung's answer, his voice so quiet.  
" b - bullies? and where's changbin?"  
" he left."

chan bit his lip, anger building up in him at the mentioned boy. he placed his arm under jisung's legs, the other going around behind his torso.  
" c'mon i'll take you to my place."  
jisung wrapped his weak arms around chan's shoulders, the older not caring that jisung's once pretty pastel clothes were now covered in mud. some spots dry some still wet. 

" i'm sorry hyung."  
" no jisung. this is not your fault, you did nothing wrong."  
chan looked down and saw jisung beginning to fall asleep. he smiled. chan placed the younger carefully in the car, buckling his seatbelt and getting in himself. driving away from the trash can he knocked down. 

-

changbin kicked his chair in his room down. angry at himself. he can't even admit ' hey i'm gay and i have the most prettiest boyfriend out there'  
he can't believe he let his own boyfriend to get hurt by his stupid friends. 

no. that's just it. yes his friends did hurt jisung, but changbin himself hurt his own boyfriend. he chose to follow his friend, chose his image over jisung's feelings. choosing to leave jisung there alone.  
changbin began to furiously throw more things around his room and once he got to his desktop he stopped. a picture of him and jisung together smiling. the younger's arms wrapped around him, gummy smile on display with a flower crown on his soft hair. 

changbin felt a tear fall out his eyes, " baby. i'm so sorry."  
" hyung."  
changbin let more tears out.  
" hyung!"  
he snapped out of his daze and quickly wiped his tears away. heading to open the door. 

" hey jeongin. what'd you need?"  
" where's jisung hyung? you didn't come home with him, i made him a new flower crown."  
changbin looked at the round carnation in his hands, lavender with a soft pale blue.  
" he had something to do at home. i can give it to him when i see him for you."  
jeongin smiled and handed him the crown, " see you hyung."

the younger left the room. changbin looked down at the flowers in his hand. precious and beautiful just like boy who loved to wear them. 

 

 

the next day changbin headed to jisung's house, knocking on the front door waiting for the boy to open it. but no answer came, no one opened the door. he knocked again in hopes jisung was just sleeping, but still no answer.  
he sighed and searched for his phone in his pockets. calling chan.

" chan have you seen jisung?"  
" he's with me right now, why?"  
changbin bit his lip, " why's he with you?"  
" oh gee i don't know. maybe because his boyfriend left him alone to rot in the dark after getting beat up."

chan replied with venom flowing out his words. changbin sighed.  
" that was such a dick move. jisung kept blaming himself, saying he's the reason you left. he kept going off about not being good enough and doubting you even cared about your relationship in the first place. he wouldn't stop crying till he fell asleep. why'd you do that to him?"

changbin with tears welling up in his eyes blinked them away. not answering the older's answer,  
" i'm heading over there alright?"  
" i don't know if he -"  
" i'm going."

changbin cut off chan. hanging up and taking his keys for the car, heading away from jisung's home. his knuckles turning white from gripping the wheel too tight. chan's home came into view and he parked carelessly. rushing to the door.

he knocked liked a crazy man, chan opening the door unpleased.  
" you need to calm -"  
changbin pushed his way past chan and looked around the house. wanting to see his dear boyfriend. his eyes fell on a small figure sitting up on the couch, wrapped in a blue blanket, the younger looking so soft. changbin rushed to him, crouching down in front of him. jisung biting his lip as he saw changbin with hurt eyes. changbin gave him a smile and caressed his cheek,  
" will you come home with me? please."

jisung stared at him, changbin noticing his eyes look glossy. and so broken, and changbin wanted to bash his head through the wall, he did this to jisung. he broke him.  
jisung nodded, words still not leaving his mouth. and changbin realized he missed the younger's voice so much in that moment.

he waited patiently for jisung to put on his shoes and grab his belongings so they can head to his car. chan hugged jisung as a goodbye. changbin took the glare he recieved as a goodbye as well. he let jisung put his things in the back, they both hopped in.  
a silence fell between them, not awkward, just silence. jisung would usually crack up a conversation, tell him about his day. say how he and felix did another stupid thing together. but now, jisung stayed looking out the window, arms wrapped around himself. 

they arrived in front of changbin's place. he parked, both taking off their seatbelt, but not leaving the car just yet. he lowered the music and heard a sniffle. he turned and saw jisung trying to quiet his sobs. changbin's heart shattering at the sight he was seeing. jisung took a breathe, wiping his tears with the sleeves of his new clean shirt.  
" a - are you gonna break up with me?"

jisung's voice shaky, he was afraid of the words he might hear, the words he didn't want to hear at all. changbin letting him go, letting him leave.  
the said boy reached over and grabbed jisung's hand,  
" no. that has never crossed my mind. i would never dream of it. how could i let you go, i can never get rid of someone as beautiful as you."

jisung blushed at the comment, looking down at their joined hands, smiling  
" and baby. i'm so so sorry, i shouldn't have left you there alone. i'll stop hanging with them, i don't care what they think, i don't care what anyone thinks. i want to be with you."  
jisung looked up at changbin, the older already having his eyes on him.  
" i love having you by my side, you make my days so much brighter. and you're so beautiful, i love your laugh, i love your smile. i -"

changbin was cut off by the younger giving him a kiss on his cheek, jisung smiling,  
" i love everything about you too hyung."  
changbin smiled at him, pulling jisung towards him and kissed his lips. jisung wrapped his arms around changbin's neck. the older managed to get jisung on his lap without hurting him. letting his hands fall onto jisung's small waist, pulling him impossibly closer.  
jisung pulled away to catch his breathe, changbin's lips bouncing back onto his. they savored each other, not wanting the other to leave. 

jisung pulled away giggling, he let his head fall down onto changbin's neck. squeezing him in a hug. changbin smiling wide.  
" let's go inside baby."  
changbin began to let the younger get off him, opening the door. but jisung wrapped himself around changbin again.  
" no, carry me."  
changbin chuckled, rubbing jisung's back, looking at him lovingly,  
" okay."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i still haven't left my bed  
> if there's mistakes i'm sorry


	3. smooth (+)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> minsung

jisung gasped as his back made contact with the wall, arms trapping him. he looked up at minho with wide eyes. minho smirked and kissed his lips. it wasn't soft and affectionate like their usual kisses are when they're just cuddling or just wanting to give affection. no. this kiss was one that made jisung weak at his knees, had him wanting more. 

and technically it isn't his fault. his boyfriend was sitting in the chair at the meeting gorgeously. face serious as he listened intently to what their boss and chan had to say. adding in something here and there. his hair was pulled back, exposing his forehead. his lips screaming at him,  
' jisung! jisung! kiss me!'

he couldn't stop himself when he placed a hand on minho's thigh. squeezing it while looking the other way, pretending to be listening. but he knew minho was looking at him, he could feel it. feel his eyes on him, so jisung turned. minho indeed having his eyes attached to him, but there was a glint in his eyes the younger couldn't figure out what it was. minho simply took his hand off his thigh, turning back to pay attention to the meeting. but jisung wasn't going to stop any time soon. 

he placed his hand on minho's thigh again, but this time, slowly moving it up higher, to go to his inner thigh. and going higher and higher till he got to his clothed dick. minho placed his hand on jisung's wrist, and the younger thought he would play along. but minho dug his fingers into his wrist. fingernails almost piercing through his skin and jisung had to bite his lip to stop the pained whimper that wanted to leave him. 

he felt minho stop when tears were barely forming in his eyes. stinging. and jisung pulled his hand away at the same time chan had ended the meeting. all bowing towards their boss and leaving through the doors. jisung without any mind went over to felix, his twin making him forget what he did. but minho surely didn't. 

 

once they got back to the dorms jisung's curiosity got the best of him and he went to the bathroom. heading into the shower and he took the shaver and cream. smoothing out the cream onto his leg, he dragged the shaver over and saw his hairs disappear. he continued his movements over both legs. and once he was done he let himself slide down, he brought his leg up and ran his hand over it. gawking at how smooth it was, he imagined it being minho's hand. minho's hand running over his legs, gripping them and leaving marks. squeezing them just like he did to the older earlier. 

a moan escaped his lips, realization hit him. he had a finger in his entrance, going in and out. he gripped the side of the tub tightly a whimper coming out. he inserted another finger, scissoring them inside him. rubbing against his prostate, ripping another moan from him.  
his thoughts running wild, thinking of minho. his hands, his fingers, his beautiful face. his lips, his eyes. his dick. he imagined his fingers being minho's dick inside of him instead. fucking him senseless. 

he quickened the pace of his fingers, adding a third. rubbing his prostate with every thrust of his fingers, he was breathing heavily. the water from the shower head quieting his noises to prevent from someone listening. but for one particular person, that wasn't the case. he came with a whine, minho still on his mind. he pulled out his fingers, his hole clenching on nothing. the water cleaned his cum right away so he didn't worry about any signs of his sexual needs. 

he regained his regular breathing and stood up on wobbly legs. he got out and dried himself with a towel. changing into shorts and a white tee he owned. hanging off his shoulders showing off his collarbone and unmarked neck. he sighed and walked out, woojin about to walk out the door.  
" hyung, where are you going?"  
" oh me and the boys are heading out. minho is staying with you is that fine?"  
" yeah but why didn't you -"  
" bye sungie!"

jisung watched as woojin walked out the door in a rushed manner. he let the suspicion he had in him slide, deciding to get a water for himself. he headed to the couch and turning on the tv. setting for a cartoon. he relaxed and just watched the cartoon in peace. he was too invested in the cartoon he didn't notice minho come out of his room and sat down next to him. he only took notice of his presence when a hand placed themself on his thigh. running up and down.  
jisung loving how easily his hand moved against his smooth thigh.

" you shaved your legs."  
minho said. not said in a questioning way, he spoke with a knowing tone. but there was something in his voice jisung couldn't quite pick out.  
" i did." 

jisung bit his lip as he felt minho run his hand up more to his inner thigh, just like he did to the older during the meeting. jisung tried to take his mind off the hand that was on his thigh, paying more attention to the cartoon that was playing on the tv. which was a bad call cause there was a commercial playing.  
" hyung, what are you doing?"  
" nothing."  
" you literally have your hand on my thigh -"

jisung yelped when minho pulled his leg to the side, spreading them and pushing jisung down on the couch.  
" you wanted this. didn't you."  
the younger kept his mouth shut. knowing minho already knew his answer. minho yanked him up as they walked, leading them to his bedroom. once they got in he pushed jisung against the wall. and that's where we are in this story, minho kissing him roughly and jisung whining into the kisses. he placed his hands on minho's shoulders, trying to keep himself stable, he can't be falling. though he's already fallen for minho.

he was picked up again and placed on the bed. minho taking off his shirt and trailing kisses along jisung's milky neck, leaving marks. claiming jisung. he pulled away, beginning to take off jisung's shorts and boxers.  
" tell me what you were doing in the shower."

jisung's breathe hitched, had minho heard him?  
" i shaved my legs -"  
he let out a moan when minho's hand came forcefully down on his thigh, looking at the older in the eye.  
" what else."  
jisung bit his lip again, hoping he won't bite it open.  
" i touched myself. t - thinking of you."

" and what was that little stunt at the meeting today. you wanted to show everyone how much of a slut you are?"  
jisung whimpered at the comment. his words going straight to his dick and he began writhering around under minho's gaze.  
" i love your legs ji. mainly your thighs."

minho said while giving little kisses to his inner thigh. beginning to bite down, leaving more marks. wanting everyone to know jisung was his. he stopped until his name was clearly written all over the younger. he drew back and took in the state of jisung. cheeks flushed, hair sticking to his forehead slightly. legs open for him. minho let out a low growl. him. jisung was his, all this was for him.  
" you're a mess already."

he got off the bed, hearing jisung's whine, and got the lube out the drawer. he began to undress and chuckled,  
" you're so needy baby."  
jisung watched as minho coated his dick with lube, awaiting for the next events to come. he spread his legs out a bit more, inviting the older. minho joined him back on the bed, kissing jisung again on his lips. a distraction to the slight pain jisung was receiving in his ass. the younger moaned into the kiss, hands coming up to his back. they both froze when they heard the front door shut.  
" oh? you think they're home?"  
" i - i don't know."  
" guess you'll have to be quiet then."

he began thursting into jisung harshly. hips snapping into him. the younger trying so hard to quiet down his moans. 

 

" you're a fucking short ass how could i see you from that far?"  
" i was right in front you dumbass!"  
" yah! cut your bullshit."  
woojin said, hyunjin and changbin shutting their mouths immediately. woojin began to open the door but once he heard a sound that isn't hard to pick out what's happening he shut the door. pushing the others away.  
" go go go!"  
" what the hell?"  
they all rushed to follow woojin. he kept hurrying his way far from the dorms. well not really, they just ended up stopping at the gift shop around the corner.  
" what the fuck was that? what happened."  
woojin looked at all of them,  
" jisung's taking it up the ass."  
and he walked away. pretending nothing ever happens at all, walking into the gift shop. all the others panting from their little run session. felix and hyunjin snickered at each other. already plotting to tease their little squirrel friend. 

 

jisung let out a loud moan, not caring if the others were in the dorms or not, when minho began going faster. his thrusts hard and stuck in that animalistic pace, jisung's body jolting up with every thrust the older gave. his moans hitting a higher octave, loving having the older inside him.  
minho looked down, and watched as his cock went in and out of jisung's hole repeatedly, fast. he groaned at the sight,  
" you're taking me so well sungie. you feel amazing."  
he went down and bit down on his earlobe. the younger moaning out right next to his own ear. he grabbed jisung's dick and started pumping, meeting the same rhythm as his thrusts. jisung whimpering, gripping his shoulders. the sound of their skin slapping against each other, their lower bodies meeting to be one, had jisung close to the edge. he could tell minho was close too, minho always joins their free hands together when he's close. and jisung thought that was the sweetest thing.  
he felt minho's cum flow deep into him a moan escaping him again. he whined when minho's hand continued with his cock brought him to come as well. he panted and whimpered when minho still thrusted into him, slow but strong. riding out his high. minho pulled out, jisung hissing. minho left to get new clothes for the both them and wipes.  
jisung watched still in a daze of pleasure, almost looking drunk. but he didn't care he was looking at his boyfriend change in front of him. it was a great view. jisung let minho put his clothes on for him, just laying on the bed, too fucked out to care.

once they were clean and changed minho got on the bed and pulled jisung into his arms.  
the younger pulling his head up to kiss minho on the lips. this time it was soft and loving.  
the door to the room busted open,  
" YOU FUCKING HOES!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i was writing this in school and i know people be thinkin, ' ay she textin' but little do they know i'm just writing about jisung getting fucked  
> i'm posting this while on the bus, this is fun


	4. fashion sense

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> chansung

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BRO DID Y'ALL FUCKING SEE MIROH I'M DECEASED

jisung doesn't know how long he can keep this a secret from him. he's been roomates with chan for almost three years now, they've told each other everything. but this, his crush on the older might get in the way of coming through with the truth. and he's in for another ride of embarrassment.

jisung looks at himself in the wall mirror in his room. the white skirt hugging his small waist, and the pastel blue long sleeved crop top. he would giggle to himself whenever he pulled up his arms and the shirt went up, showing his soft tummy. he spun around letting the skirt twirl around.

jisung loving to see himself in these clothes wasn't unexpected. whenever he would go to the mall with his mother to shop for him when he was younger, his eyes would go to the girls section. and when his mother stayed looking at a pair of jeans for him he would wander off with big curious eyes. seeing more bright colors than the plain ones in the boys section. 

his small hands grabbed at a pink shirt with flowers on it, he smiled putting it against his body.  
" jisung! i thought i lost you sweetie."  
jisung averted his eyes from her shyly, shifting on his feet. her eyes looked down at the clothing in jisung's hand. " what's this sweetie?"  
jisung hung it back up, tears welling up in his eyes. " i - i just thought it was pretty." and he walked back to the boys section. his mother watched him go and she looked back at the shirt her son was observing, and smiled. 

when they were paying jisung saw the pink shirt he had a liking to being put into the bag by the lady on the other side of the desk. he tugs on his mother's shirt softly, " mommy why are you buying it?"  
" oh it's a gift. thank you for giving me an idea."  
jisung looked away sadly, still holding his mother's shirt as they leave.

the next day jisung awoke and saw a yellow gift box next to his squirrel slippers. he put on his slippers and sat in front of the box, a note sitting on it, his mother?  
; hey sweetie! i'm at work while you open this, but i hope you like it. you can wear it to school tomorrow.

in confusion he opens the box and gasps. picking up the pink shirt that was sitting neatly folded in the box. he suddenly remembers his mother's words when they were purchasing the clothes, " it's a gift."  
his eyes fill up with happy tears as he hugs the shirt to his chest, he loves his mother dearly.

not everyone would have the same reaction and support like his mother did. he wore the pink flower shirt to school and boys picked on him. bullied and teased him until a boy came, it kind of suprised jisung how tall he was for the second grade, but maybe jisung was just too short. the boy would tell him that he can wear whatever he wants, and not to listen to the mean bullies. they became close and would play at recess. hyunjin introduced him to his other friend, seungmin. seungmin was different from hyunjin, he was sarcastic and a bit more rude. but jisung thought that was cool. 

whenever bullies would go after him seungmin would snark back at them harshly and hyunjin would scare them off with his height. jisung was beyond thankful for his two best friends. 

when they grew older and got to high school, the bullying didn't stop. jisung began to wear skirts and crop tops. and when he was feeling good about himself and if they went out to a party. he would wear shorts ( maybe with added fish nets ) and a tucked in large shirt.  
people loved seeing him enjoy himself in his favorite clothing, but some not in the same way his mother and friends did. 

it was happening so fast he didn't know what to do. he was pushed against the wall in the boys locker room. a hand on his thigh and another under his shirt going up his torso. another boy trying to kiss him. he tried to push them away with the little strength he had. he tried running away but there was another boy who was watching and tripped him. falling face forward, causing his skirt to fly up, showing his bottom. 

the boy who tripped him turned him over onto his back and roughly pulled his legs apart. tears falling out of jisung's eyes, trailing down his cheeks.  
" look boys, he even wears panties. he's so good for us."  
jisung whimpered and tried to crawl away, but the two other boys came and held him down.  
" hey! let him go!"

it was a boy who came out of the showers. changed and drying his hair. a look of disbelief and disgust as he looked at the three manhandling jisung in an inappropriate way. jisung's never spoken to him, but he knew he was a new student from australia. was his name flaurence?  
the guy between his legs got up and stood in front of him, blocking jisung from the other boys view.  
" i don't know what you're trying to do, but he's ours. so we'll take him from here."  
" no. i will not leave an innocent boy with you three pervs."  
jisung tried closing his legs to keep his sanity, and cause he was beyond embarrassed. but one of the boys above him pried them open. squeezing his thighs. tears still leaving jisung's eyes.

" you guys are disgusting, thinking everyone wants to be touched for fun. look at him."  
they all turned towards jisung, looking embarrassed but scared.  
" i say you leave now or i'll report all of you."  
it didn't seem like they were but the doors busted opened and hyunjin and seungmin came in with a scowl on their faces, glaring at the three boys. 

the three rushed out, and jisung's two best friends came to him.  
" sungie! are you okay?"  
jisung turned towards the boy still standing in the same spot he was when he walked in, looking lost. he gave him a smile and the boy smiled back. seungmin noticed and gestured the boy over.  
" he helped me, he stopped them when he walked in."  
" oh lord jesus thank you!"

hyunjin exclaimed as he brought the other boy in a tight hug, shaking his hand rushed and messy, introducing himself and babbling thank you's. seungmin helped jisung up, wiping off any dust that was on his clothing. the unamed boy smiled at jisung again. jisung noticing his freckles on him, jisung wanted to count them. they were endearing.  
" i'm felix."  
ooooooh, that was his name.  
" i'm jisung, this is hyunjin and seungmin. thank you for helping me, if there's any way i can repay you -"  
" don't sweat. you don't need to worry about repaying me. your beauty is enough."  
and jisung had blushed the first time. 

when college came jisung was in a haste, having trouble finding a place to stay. the dorms in the college too expensive, and he only had enough to pay to actually get in and the debt. and food but he sometimes forgot his meals.  
he saw a flyer taped on the wall next to the doors of the college. 

; roommate wanted!  
two bedrooms, two bathrooms and a studio  
kitchen, spacious living room.  
yearly payment : $ 125  
call : *** - *** - ****

jisung's eyes widened. only a hundred twenty five dollars?! the apartment he was looking at asked for a thousand. jisung quickly took out his phone and dialed the number. almost jumping in place. on the fourth dial the person on the other end answered.  
" he -"  
" i'll take it."  
" what?"  
" the offer, roommate thing, i'll take it."  
" oh! awesome, uhm what's your name?"  
" han jisung."  
" all right, you can come by this thursday if that's all right."  
" can i come by now?"  
" no that's totally fine yeah."  
" thank you!"

and jisung put the phone against his chest to pump his fist in the air in a silent cheer. he put the phone back up to his ear.  
" address is dream street, road seventeen. house number is 0325."  
" all right thank you! bye!"

jisung put the address in his phone and ran to his car. hurrying to get there. he wasn't sure if he was supposed to be this excited over staying somewhere with a stranger. but he needed a place to stay, and making a new friend wouldn't be so bad.  
he got to the right address and he almost fainted. the houses around here look like complete mansions. and this guy was only asking for a hundred twenty five, how much was his rent?

jisung found the house and parked his car. walking up to the front door. he kind of felt a bit awkward with himself, he was wearing black ripped jeans with a purple jacket. he would have worn his usual clothing, but he didn't know if this guy would support him, or treat him like most other people have. besides hyunjin felix and seungmin, he loves them endlessly. or if this person would be beyond disgusted and not consider him as a roommate and slam the door right in his face. 

he knocked on the door and he swears, his soul left his body. the guy standing in front of him couldn't be real, he was too beautiful. blonde cute messy hair, muscles shown with his sleeveless black shirt, grey sweats. he looked too unreal. jisung felt his cheeks warm up.  
" uhh - uhm i'm jisung! i was the one you just talked to on the phone."

the boy inside smiled at him, " i figured. come on in, i can show you around."  
jisung smiled and made his way into the home. he looked around and was immediately awe struck. the outside of the home gave off a rich vibe and has you make the most understandable assumption that inside there would be expensive stuff. but no. this house was very cozy and had a homey feel to it. it didn't throw you off with that rich vibe, and jisung likes it. 

the boy had an amused smile on his face as he watched jisung look around in amazement.  
" i'm bang chan. i'll show you the room," he introduced himself and gestured jisung to follow him. jisung follwed him with small steps still looking around the house. once he looked into the room he couldn't believe he would have this room, well if he was accepted. it had a queen sized bed, with burgundy type colored sheets, a desk in the corner with a given lamp, and a fucking walk in closet. a wall mirror big enough to show your whole body. a connected bathroom, and there was a window bringing light into the room. 

" you can put curtains if you'd like, i know some people prefer a dark room. i know i do, but it's whatever you want."  
and wow, if his looks weren't enough he had such kindness to give thought into what jisung preferred.  
" this is all so much. are you sure the rent isn't pricey, i can help pay, please if you're gonna let me be here i should at least give something more than just a hundred twenty five."  
jisung jumped at his words.  
" well if you let me stay that is."

" i'm considering. but don't worry the rent isn't that much."  
jisung smiled at him and walked out the room. when he walked into the kitchen he was suddenly reminded that he had a box of cookies in his car.  
" oh my gosh! wait here."

he ran out and got the box and rushed back inside. he went into the kitchen where chan was and placed the box on the kitchen island.  
" i brought you cookies! well if you like them, and damn it what if you're allergic. ugh, this was probably a bad idea i'm sorry i didn't think -"  
" jisung."  
" yes?"  
" i enjoy cookies."

he gave jisung a warm smile and the other felt relieved. he pushed the box towards chan more. chan took a chocolate chip cookie out and began eating it,  
" tell me about yourself jisung."  
jisung took a seat on the the high chairs next to the island.

" well there's not really much about me. i just came back from visiting malaysia, this is my first year of college and i plan to major in music production. i write lyrics in my journal, it has a little squirrel on the front. i really enjoy making music, it helps me calm down and puts me at ease. i like cheesecake a lot, you'll probably catch me binge eating those while watching kdramas every once in a while. uhm i'm nineteen and i have three best friends."

jisung smiled, seeing his friends in his mind. he really loves them. and chan seemed to notice that,  
" you must really adore them."  
" i do! i love them to death. they helped me so much through out our lives together. especially in school, there were some problems with bullying, but they always had my back. and i can never be more grateful to have friends like them."

chan smiled at that. " well speaking of music, i really enjoy making music myself. i've composed a few songs with my friend changbin i guess you can say we have this sort of little duo going on. we like to talk about problems people come across and help them through it, i'd love to get the chance to listen and read over your lyrics once you unpack."

" once i unpack?"  
" yeah, really you're the only one who has called. and you're cute."  
jisung blushed at his comment. " could say the same about you."

he said, trying to seem confident but chan just winked at him and jisung knew he was a goner. 

 

 

they're almost three years of being roomates now and jisung is still hiding his clothing of choice. changing into them whenever chan left for his classes, or when he had a free day and chan wasn't there. whenever he went out with hyunjin, seungmin and felix he would change in hyunjins car, after he said bye to chan in regular clothes. he developed a crush on the older, chan was just so beautiful. and they both helped each other out whenever they were having trouble. 

they would stay up at three am watching movies and cuddling on the couch. they would go out together sometimes and jisung would always have to remind himself that it wasn't a date. they would call each other cute nicknames, his favorite being called ' baby ' and ' angel '. he was introduced to changbin and the duo of chan and changbin, became a trio. they invited jisung into their little music group, they've made mixtapes together. and they always had fun together in chan's studio. chan and changbin were quite protective over jisung, as he was their youngest in the trio. pray for anyone who messed with jisung, chan and changbin bout to beat their asses. 

but it wasn't a lie to say jisung would do the same for them. he loved his hyungs as much as he loved hyunjin, seungmin and felix. and would do anything to make them happy. his crush on chan was hard to hide, but his blushes were always obvious to chan. and chan would laugh and continue to compliment and tease jisung. cuddling sessions with chan were amazing. his warmth engulfing jisung, his strong arms holding him protectivly. his scent.

jisung blushed as he gave one more spin. giggling and clapping to himself and he hopped his way over to text his mother. he promised her he would text her everyday, tell her how everything is going, if he made any new friends. he even told her about his crush and she was so happy for him, not caring about his sexuality, and she would tease him about it as well. 

a knock came to his door and it opened, jisung freezing in place where he was standing next to his bed. chan looking at him, taking in his style. jisung dropped his phone on the bed, waves of embarrassment, fear and shame washing over him.  
" jisung -"  
" no no no. get out, you weren't supposed to see me. please hyung."  
jisung rushed over to close the door but chan wouldn't let him. jisung let out a small sob.  
" close the door hyung."

but chan wouldn't budge, the overwhelming feeling of being caught was too much. jisung pushed chan back and slammed the door, locking it. he slid down onto the ground, back against the door, sobbing and letting tears leave his eyes. he never really paid mind to what people thought about his clothes thanks to his three best friends. but chan was his crush, and he had seen him this way. he messed up. he fucking ruined everything. chan was gonna kick him out, tell him to leave their trio 3racha. never wanting to see him again. chan was probably so disgusted by him. 

his body became too tired to continue crying, his eyes feeling heavy and cheeks sticky from the dry tear stains. he felt too weak to get up, his eyes closed and brought him to dream land. seeing dream chan's disappointed face. 

 

a knock scared him awake. he stretched, neck and back now sore.  
" sungie? will you please open the door?"  
came chan's soft voice on the other side of the door. jisung quickly got up and went to his closet, changing into shorts and a white long tee. he opened the door after his internal argument debating to face chan or not. when he saw the older in front of him he swore he saw a glint of sadness in his eyes when he saw jisung's change of clothes, but that could be jisung's imagination. 

chan felt pain his chest. seeing jisung so hurt and defeated, eyes puffy and red with tear stains on his cute chubby cheeks. it hurt him badly. he hated seeing jisung like this.  
" angel, will you talk to me. please."  
jisung looked down but pulled the door back to give chan room to come him. he knew he couldn't find an excuse for this, he couldn't try to hide it any longer. not when chan had found out. 

they both sat down on jisung's bed. jisung looking down at his fingers as he played around with them on his own. chan looking at him with desperation in his eyes.  
" i,,, i enjoy wearing those clothes hyung. i like how i look in them, i always had a liking to more girly clothes than guy clothes. that's where the bullying i mentioned came in. many people didn't like how i dressed, some used that as advantage against me to touch me."  
chan cringed at that last sentence. hand coming into a fist in anger at just the thought of jisung being touched inappropiatly against his will by some douche bag perv.

" and i thought i was alone, that liking these type of clothing was wrong of me. but my mother supported me all the way, and i just had her. until hyunjin and seungmin came. they gave me so much confidence in myself, more than i ever did. felix helped me when i was being harassed in the locker rooms on time. them three always have fun shopping with me for skirts, never once judging me. ever." 

jisung took a glance at chan, the older looking back at him. jisung bit his lip,  
" i like you hyung. as in,,, like like you. and being your roommate has been the best, and i'm sorry i ruined it by wearing those clothes. tell me to leave so we can forget this ever happened, and you won't have to ever see me again."

jisung let new tears shed. he jumped when chan's hands came up to his cheek and wiped them away. chan's eyes, jisung couldn't tell what it was, but something was there.  
" why would i make you leave? pining after you all these years just to let you go? baby, i want to make you mine, and if you want to wear those clothing everyday. by all means wear them, you look pretty, and those clothes just bring it out more. i'm not gonna make you stop wearing them, i'd like it if you wore my clothes from time to time, i've been dying to see how cute you look in them. wear what you want to wear angel. i still like you either way."

jisung threw himself onto chan, clinging to him like a koala as he laughed with tears still in his eyes.  
" hyung i was so scared. i like you too much already i didn't want to leave you."  
" i don't want you leaving either. stay with me jisung."  
" i promise."

chan placed a soft kiss on jisung's neck, " can you maybe change back. i want to see you in them more."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> are y'all liking these stories? like? at all???  
> requested by and for ; Queenquinn101


	5. attention ( + )

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hyunsung  
> short and plotless really

hyunjin went down to jisung's thighs, leaving more marks and soft kisses. jisung letting out breathy moans, panting already in anticipation. he just wanted hyunjin, badly. he wanted hyunjin to pin him down and fuck him into the mattress. he didn't know he was at loss of attention from his boyfriend until today at a photoshoot. hyunjin clinging all over jeongin instead of him, ignoring him. complimenting everyone else of their looks in the photos, except jisung. 

he would ignore jisung's whining and hugs, even pushing him away when he wanted a kiss. and jisung wondered if he was purposely unacknowleding jisung, his boyfriend, or if he just completely forgot about him. but he was proven wrong when he decided to go to felix for love and cuddles. having enough of jisung curling up to felix on the couch and holding hands and receiving kisses on the head, he pulled jisung away. pushing him into the room and locking the door. 

" what kind of fucking game are you playing huh?!" hyunjin yelled at the shorter boy. jisung balling his fists,  
" it's a game i like to call, ' whore frenzy '. if you're boyfriend won't love you, go ahead and play around!"

hyunjin's eyes only darkened as he stared at jisung, the younger biting his lip. maybe those weren't the right words to say? he felt hands grip the collar of his shirt and push him against the wall. " how can you be a whore, if i fucking own you. my personal slut who loves to be fucked."

jisung bit his lip, eyes glossy as he stared at his taller boyfriend.  
" hyunjin."  
he gasped out as he felt his boyfriend grip his waist, biting onto his neck. hyunjin only chuckled, jisung's hand coming up to his hair, letting his head fall back. giving hyunjin more access to his neck. letting him paint on him like a canvas. hyunjin put his knee between jisung's legs, rubbing against the younger's clothed dick, receiving a moan from jisung.

" you're beautiful baby. so fucking beautiful i want to show you off, show people you're mine. show how much of a slut you are. you want that don't you?"  
jisung whimpered at his words, the thought of hyunjin giving him off to someone to play with him. use him all they want.  
" b - but i belong to you. you only, ever."

hyunjin smiled, leaving a soft kiss on jisung's nose, " damn right."  
jisung giggled, and hyunjin found it so adorable even though it didn't fit in the situation they were in now. he picked up jisung by his thighs, leading them to the bed. he gently placed jisung on the bed, the younger looking at him with eyes of lust. he took off his shirt along with jisung's, pulling off his shorts. leaving him in his briefs.

resuming to the present story, hyunjin came back up from jisung's thighs, pulling down his boxers and spreading the younger's legs more. he left the bed, hearing jisung's whine, to get the lube and joined the younger back on the bed. he lubes up his fingers and without hesitation or a heads up, he inserts two fingers. immediately hitting jisung's prostate. a long drawn out moan from him, leading his hand to grab at his own dick but hyunjin slapped his hand away, " no touching baby."

jisung whined and pushed back down on hyunjin's fingers, hyunjin purposely moving his digits to where they wouldn't touch jisung's prostate. thrusting them in and out, eliciting whimpers from jisung, already squirming. gripping the sheets tight his knuckles turned white, " hyunjin please."  
at his cute whine hyunjin curled his fingers harshly to hit jisung's prostate again. " ah! m - more, please."

hyunjin sped up his fingers, still hitting jisung's bundle of nerves that had him on edge. jisung began to pant heavily, hair sticking to his forehead, he knew he was close. and he knew hyunjin knew too. he was surprised hyunjin didn't tell him to stop, he kept going, giving jisung pleasure. " j - jinnie, i'm close."  
hyunjin added a third finger, jisung giving off a high pitched moan as he came. 

his chest heaving up and down as he tried to regulate his breathing. hyunjin pulled his fingers out, instead wrapping them around the younger's dick, jisung shying away, " i - i'm too sensitive jinnie." hyunjin pulled away and poured more lube onto his hand, coating his dick with it. jisung watched, still coming down from his high, " we're not over yet sweetheart." hyunjin smirked. 

he aligned himself with jisung's hole, and pushed himself in. jisung almost screaming at the over stimulation, bringing his hands up to hyunjin, pulling him closer. hyunjin leaned down and kissed his lips, nice and loving. he grunted at jisung's tightness engulfing him, beginning to pull out, only to push back in. " damn, no matter how many times i fuck you, you're still so tight baby."

he increased his speed in his thrusts, jisung's legs wrapping themselves around his waist, pushing hyunjin in deeper. jisung letting out pretty moans, hyunjin loving every single sound he made. his boyfriend was so adorable, pleading and begging even though he was sensitive from his previous orgasm. desperate for more, desperate for hyunjin. the taller boy smirked, he really was his slut. he went harder, faster. jisung's body jerking up with every thrust, full and breathy moans filling up the room. the bed banging against the wall angrily, it makes hyunjin feel so good. 

he's the only one who can make jisung feel like this, he didn't care if anybody complained. he only had his attention on his cute boyfriend, jisung only. he felt a knot begin to form, jisung's warm hole clenching onto him. making his hips stutter for a bit, jisung drives him crazy. he continued thrusting, jisung already coming a second time. whimpering as hyunjin was still deep inside him, still so sensitive. 

he sighed when he felt hyunjin release into him, filling him up. his boyfriend pulled out, his cum following. hyunjin left to get a cloth and wash them up. " you wanna take a shower?" hyunjin asked, jisung rolling his eyes.  
" if you have mercy on my ass, and not fuck me against the wall, then yes. of course."  
hyunjin growled, kissing jisung's forehead, pulling him up. slapping his butt as they slowly walked to the bathroom, jisung limping.  
" that didn't cross my mind, but now that you mention it -"  
" hyunjin no."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was really short but i wanted to put something out there. last week i was worried about tryouts for a dance / drill team at my school and guess who didn't make it in cause they hispanic and the school racist asf 🤪🤙
> 
> besides that i have like two other chapters and they might be long 😔


	6. <3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> felix x jisung

_i really like your freckles, maybe one day i can count them with you ? <3_

jisung read over the note again on the tray. nervousness eating him he almost didn't move until seungmin nudged at him with a knowing smile. 

he turned and sent a glare, a blush spreading on his cheeks. as he made his way over to the table where his crush was, his mind became loud. 

_**would he be weirded out ?** _

_**would he even read it ?** _

_**what if he knows it's you and he'll be disgusted** _

he let out a sigh at the last one and put on a smile as he arrived. taking the napkin with the note and placing it face down on the table, " your vanilla latte."

he said as he placed said drink on the the table, " and your french toast." he said, also placing the plate onto the table. bringing down the tray. 

" anything else i can help you with?" jisung said, another blush creeping up on his cheeks as he heard the deep voice of the other boy. 

" no that'll be all, thank you."

he threw on another smile, " no problem. enjoy."

and he headed his way back behind the counter. letting out a breathe, hearing a laugh getting louder. 

" it's that deep huh ?" came seungmin's voice. jisung pouted at him, grabbing a rag and heading to clean tables. 

while he was wiping he heard a certain someone's deep voice ring in his ear, " uhm, i left a tip on the table, so please don't think i accidently left it i don't want you to worry." 

" oh, uh thank you -"

" of course, i gave you it because you helped me find my mystery man."

jisung looked up from the table. if this were an animated comedy, huge question marks would be floating around him

" mystery man?"

" yeah, uhm those notes on the napkins you would leave. he told me he's been writing those. it's very cute."

all those question marks floating around his head crashed. being replaced with a sad dark cloud with lightning. 

" well uhm. i'm glad i could help. i wish you both the best." jisung manged to pull off a fake smile without breaking. he patted himself on the back. 

freckle boy gave him one more breathtaking smile and left. and jisung watched with sadness clear in his eyes as he joined hands with a tall prince. smiles on their faces. 

when they left, and the door shut. thunder clapped within the cloud above his head, and the grey puff began crying. drowning him in its tears. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whoops


	7. birthday candle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> stray kids x jisung  
> angsty

_did his wish not work?_

jisung thinks as he looks at himself in the mirror, a sad expression playing.

he recalls himself sitting in his bed past midnight, looking out the window. gazing at the stars that twinkled, waving at him in the sparkling night sky. a shooting star passed by and jisung had to retain himself from squealing in excitement for the whole dorm was quiet as everyone else in it were asleep. except for one hopeful boy, putting his trust into a light going across the sky. his wonders traveling to tag onto that light that would take it, and make it into a beautiful gift.

he would always write down what wish he had made into his journal he had. his journal of dreams, lyrics, wishes and moments he had.

his wish must've died out along with the light that used to shine. he walks out when he freshenes up and sees chan and woojin in the kitchen baking. it smelled amazing, vanilla and sweets filling the air with its sugary aroma. hitting jisung as he hopped his way over to his hyungs.

" what are you making hyung?"

woojin gave a short glance towards him and then turned away, " a cake." jisung bounced on his feet, a big smile on his face. he brought himself over to chan who was busy with making the frosting, a soft yellow with pink edible designs in a bowl nearby.

" it smells delicious hyung."

chan chuckled, a small smile tugging on his lips, " thanks sungie. do you think felix will like it?"

jisung pouted, " felix? why felix?"

" cause his birthday is in a day," chan said with a tone that sounded harsh, " how could you forget?"

jisung quickly shook his head, " no i didn't forget it's just, i..."

_what about mine ?_

" well it doesn't really matter, just don't bother us right now alright?" woojin said, shooing jisung out of the kitchen. jisung let's out a short sigh and walks into the living room, dropping himself on the couch. 

" why are you in a bad mood, i'm the one who can't find a present."

jisung looked up and saw hyunjin on the other side of the couch. he crawls his way over and laid his head on the others thighs. looking up at him with his big eyes. " and who's the present fooooorrr?" he said with a singing tone.

" felix."  hyunjin bluntly replied, scrolling through his phone. looking at the products on sale for a gift. jisung looked down at his hands, bringing one up to tug on hyunin's shirt. making eye contact once hyunjin looked down at him, " no one else?,,, in mind?"

hyunjin shook his head immediately, looking back at his phone. he pushed jisung off his lap causing the smaller to fall from the couch. a pained groaned leaving his mouth as he rubbed his now bruised arm soothingly. " are you gonna help me pick out a present? if not then please leave."

jisung looked at hyunjin with sad eyes, he reluctantly stood up. his knee now sore from the fall as well, he still had his hand on his arm as he spoke, " you know felix will love whatever you give him, you're existence is completely fine." 

he walks away, hyunjin not replying. he didn't even seem interested in what jisung said, or the fact he was in pain as he walked to one of the rooms. he opened it and saw jeongin talking with felix. his eyes lit up, " what -"

" leave jisung, this is between us youngsters. felix was saying something and you cut him off."

" but, but i'm young too. and the same age as felix, why can't i join you?" jisung said biting his lip to not cry 

" cause we don't trust you with anything and we don't want you in here." felix said. resuming to what he was talking about to jeongin earlier. but now in a whispering tone cause jisung was still at the door way half fully into the room.

jisung pouted, rubbing his arm soothingly once again at the throbbing pain and then heading out the room. before he closed the door he heard jeongin say. " god he's so annoying and pushy."

jisung looked down at the ground again at the comment. fully closing the door now, a tear escaping his eye. " sungie?"

" are you okay?"

he looked up and saw changbin, minho behind him, both looking at him with concern. he quickly wiped the tears away with his sleeves, putting on a smile, " i'm fine!"

changbin frowned, they both weren't buying it at all. jisung's eyes red and puffy, slightly shaking from trying to hold in any more tears, the broken smile on his face. arms wrapped around himself, hugging his fragile body. the sight broke a certain dancer and rappers heart. 

jisung sniffed, " hey, shouldn't y'all be at the store to get the decorations for felix's party?" jisung said as he passed the two and went into his room. shutting the door and falling on the bed, and let the tears fall. eyes stinging. 

the door opened and he heard seungmins voice, " ugh you're here." he said and shut the door once again. jisung grabbed onto toto, bringing him close. arms wrapping around him, " you want me here, right toto?"

he sighed and squeezed him one last time before taking out his journal. writing the date and began. six words, eighteen letters, one sentence. a tear fell onto the page. smearing the last word, he clicked his tongue. closing it and wiping at his eyes that just  _wouldn't. stop_

he took a deep breathe in and waited for the night to come.

 

 

 

when he knew everyone was asleep he slipped on his shoes grabbed a lighter and headed out. walking through the chilly night to a bakery. it was september, but the cold weather decided to pay a visit early it seemed. goosebumps crawling up his arms when a gush of wind would hit him. 

as he looked at the cupcakes on display he saw the order placements book. he saw felix's name, a simple vanilla cake, purple buttercream frosting flowers with a butterfly flying through the sky. ordered by a fan, he smiled, it was a cute cake. something cute and nice for felix. 

he picked out one single cupcake, chocolate with yellow frosting, he also purchased colorful candles. the employee threw a question at him, " celebrating something special?"

jisung gave a small sad smile, " uhm no, just me tonight. nothing big." he let out a small chuckle, mocking and laughing at himself for making it sound like he was a total isolated guy. 

the boy on the other side of the counter frowned at him. " birthday?" jisung nodded, " my members kind of, forgot about it. but it's okay! my parents have given me wishes already, that's enough."

the hummed and then gestured to the order placement book. " but one of your members name is on there, they remember his but not yours?" the guy asked. 

jisung took in a sharp breathe, " well,, uhm i- well felix isn't from here, so they wanted to make it big for him. celebrating his first birthday away from home."

jisung felt a hand rest on his shoulder, he looked up and saw the boy, giving him a warm smile. " but your birthday is just as important as his." he said giving jisung his bag. 

jisung only smiled back and looked at the name tag, " tucker,, thank you." and walked out the building. 

he went behind the store and opened the pack of the candles. picking out a pink one, placing it on his cupcake, taking out his lighter from his pocket. lighting it up. he rubbed his hands together, keeping himself warm and stared at a candle. 

closing his eyes and began singing to himself. imagining himself back in the warmness of the dorm, his members around him. singing with him. 

" happy birthday,," he sniffled. voice shaky, " to me ~"

he blew the candle and looked up at the stars. a smile on his face at the thought of felix getting presents and lots of kisses.

_so annoying_

_pushy_

_don't trust you_

_don't want you here_

_don't bother us_

jisung let the awaiting tears fall. his members didn't care, they didn't want him. he was a burden, nothing more. he let out a shuddering breath as another breeze rushed over him. hands becoming numb, feeling his nose becoming red. 

he curled up into a ball, hugging himself from the cold. 

 

 

 

 

changbin opened the door to jisung's room. the others complaining about how he hasn't woken up yet, getting angry that he isn't helping set up the party while seungmin is out with felix as a diversion. 

he let out a confused small noise when he didn't see jisung in his bed. he looked around the room. it was completely empty, he walked towards the younger's bed and moved the blanket. seeing a journal, well it seemed to be a diary really. 

he picked it up and guilt made its say onto him when he opened it. he knew it was shitty of him to do so, but sungie has shown him this journal. it was where he put his lyrics, so really was he still invading?

he was just hoping there was some type of note somewhere saying the whereabouts of the younger. but when he got to the last recent page he tilted his head. 

**_i just wished for a hug_ **

he noticed the tear stain on the last word, the word foggy and smeared. he looked at the date written on top and all the blood in his system drained out. feeling his heartbeat quicken. 

" sungies birthday. how could we??-" 

recalling the tear stain he looked back at it and felt tears in his eyes as well. placing his finger onto it. he let out a breathe and walked out the room. placing the journal on the small table in the middle of the living room. 

" we fucked up. guys, we fucked up really bad." his voice becoming quieter towards the end as his eyes burned with tears wanting to desperately fall. the others stopped what they were doing. looking over at the rapper. 

they all gathered around him looking at the page. looking up in confusion except for minho who just continued to stare. 

" what's this?" woojin asked. hand on his hip annoyed, he was cooking the food in the kitchen. 

" it was sungies birthday. and none of us treated him right, not even saying a happy birthday to him."

they all froze, and he saw them become pale too. especially jeongin and chan. minho biting his lip as he sat down on the couch to wipe at his eyes. 

" w - where is he? hyung." jeongin called out. tears brimming his eyes. changbin shook his head, " i don't know."

chan became furious, " what you mean you don't know?! what if he's hurt? what if he's out there doing something -" 

" shut the fuck up chan. it's not like you cared anyways." minho said. " you all, treated him like **shit**! don't think me and changbin don't know what you said jeongin. it was a real fucking dick move."

" hey! don't talk to him like that!" woojin said. 

" don't talk to him like that? why don't you ask him what he said to sungie. he seemed _so_ fucking proud of it." minho said. glaring at woojin, the older looking at jeongin. 

the youngest burst, letting the tears out, " i - i called him annoying and pushy. i didn't mean it! i swear i didn't mean it! i -"

"  **bull.**   **shit**."changbin said. woojin was about to call out about the language again when hyunjin spoke in a whispered tone. 

" i hurt him." he said, closing his eyes as a tear slowly slipped down his cheek. " i pushed him off the couch and he hurt his arm and knee."

minho glared at hyunjin too. chan let out a sob and quickly rushed to get his phone out. calling jisung.

" sungie please pick up." he said, desperation in his voice. it was silent until they heard a ringtone in jisung's room. chan ended the call, " fucking shit!"

" calm down chan. he's gonna be alright." woojin tried to console with their leader. chan looked back at him, " calm down?! we ignored him as if he was not even here. and what. we have to stay calm? he ran away! he didn't feel welcome enough to be here cause of us. it's our fault!" chan said, face red. minho still having a frown and glaring at everyone. 

there was a loud bang as the front door busted open. " hyungs! help!" seungmin yelled. they all ran over to the front door seeing felix and seungmin holding up a shivering sungie. 

there were gasps and surprised noises from the members. chan acting first and going over to carry sungie in his arms. bringing him to the couch. 

" woojin! go get a warm bath ready! hyunjin go get blankets! fuck."

jisung's breathing was uneven and quick. taking in big gulps of air. chan breaking at the sight. hyunjin came back with the blankets and chan wrapped sungie in it. rubbing at it to get heat through it onto the younger. 

" j - jisung please. talk to me." chan pleaded. tears wouldn't stop falling as he looked at the younger so cold. 

jisung gasped, " w -want minnie a - and binn - ie hyung." jisung managed to give out. chan hiding the fact that the younger's words hurt him. jisung wasn't trusting him right now. 

immediately, changbin and minho went to the younger, bringing him close in between them. giving him more warmth. minho began to cry when he looked down at jisung. he was shaking so violently, and his lips turning to purple. he hated seeing him like this. 

" h - hyungs. 'm s - sleepy." sungie said in a quiet, tiny voice. changbin let out a choked sob.

" no, jisungie please stay with us okay? don't go to sleep yet, please."

" it's c - cold." jisung said. woojin came running before anyone could say anything.

" the bath is ready."

" okay, sungie. we're gonna pick you up okay? we're gonna put you somewhere warm. c'mon, get up darling."

jisung let his arms out of the blanket cocoon and gripped onto changbin and minho's biceps. they walked him to the bath and helped him take off his clothes. 

" n - no, hyung it's c - cold." jisung whined at them. minho frowned. 

" i know sweetheart. but look, we're gonna put you in the bath okay? come here." minho said, scooping up jisung and carefully placing him in the warm water. 

jisung gasped and flinched. the new temperature burning away the coldness in a soothingly way. 

minho and changbin began to wash jisung. cleaning his hair and body. making sure he's warm and relaxed. once they were done they put in sweatpants and a large hoodie. 

they brought him to his bed and he wrapped himself in the blanket again. curling into a ball. the other members came in and when sungie spotted felix, he began crying. 

" lixie." he sobbed out. felix tearing up, seeing his close friend broken, " i'm s - sorry."

felix shook his head, coming to jisung on the bed, " no. no sungie why are you apologizing?" 

jisung sniffled. " i - i messed up your party, an - d birthday." closing his eyes. felix took his mildly cold hands, giving them a kiss.

" no. jisungie. we ruined yours. we completely disregarded your feelings and birthday. what me and jeongin said in the room i - we didn't mean it. please believe me on that. those words meant nothing. of course we want you here, we trust you with everything. and i'm sorry you can't trust us right now."

" that's our fault." woojin said. jisung looked over at all of them with teary eyes. frowning when he didn't see a certain someone. 

" where's channie hyung?" he said in a soft tone. 

woojin sighed, " he's.... he's not feeling that good right now. but don't worry, you stay warmed up okay?"

jisung shook his head and let go of felix's hands, unwrapping the blankets around him. running to chan's room. he opened the door and saw the person he's known the longest, head in his hands as his body shook with violent sobs. 

" hyung." jisung said, almost crying himself. chan gasped and looked up. " no sungie. i'm the last person you w - wanna see right n - now."

jisung rushed to his side and brought up his slightly shaky hands. putting them on chan's teary cheek, " hyung it's okay." 

" no it's n - not. i didn't d - do my job. i d - didn't think about y - you or pro - tect you. you c - could've died sung. and it would've been my fault."

" hey hey. no one said this was your fault. and  _i'm_ not saying it's your fault. please hyung you did nothing wrong." jisung said, bringing chan's head against his chest. running his hand up and down his back. 

" i hurt you." he said. jisung hated how broken he sounded. 

" no. i hurt myself, i didn't bring it up to anyone. that's on me. and y'all didn't know anything, so don't blame yourself hyung. please."

he felt chan shake his head. " but i knew your birthday, and i completely unacknowledged it."

" but you wanted to make it special for felix, and i understand that. you were all distracted, i didn't wanna sound selfish -"

" no sungie, caring about your birthday is not selfish. we should've been paying attention." jisung smiled and brought chan in tighter. they were cut off when a fire alarm went off. both jumping and jisung gripping chan tighter, a yelp leaving his lips. 

" i left the fucking stove on!" they heard woojin pass by the door running. chan laughing and running his fingers through sungies hair. 

 

 

 

 

 

jisung smiled as he watched felix open presents. hyunjin brought the cake out. and there was two candles sitting. jisung gripped the blanket around his arms when hyunjin brought the cake up in his face. felix came and sat down next to him. " blow the candles with me sungie."

jisung felt his eyes get teary again when the members began to sing happy birthday for them. he looked around at all their glowing faces. this was all he wanted. his members around together. celebrating together. and once the song came to an end he blew the candle with a big smile on his face. 

he jumped when felix threw his arms around him. the others piling onto him as well, " w - what are you guys doing?" 

" giving you your present sungie!" seungmin said. and jisung finally let the tears out. 

**_i just wished for a hug_ **

**_but i have them_ **

**_i don't need anything else_ **

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this is shit  
> i feel i dragged it on more than necessary but i hope none of you found it boring <3


	8. oop

got a chapter coming out later today 👀👀. currently two am. 

leave ideas in the comments here of what you want to be written. i'll be glad to give em a read and fulfill it and make it happen for you ❣️❣️. working on two requests right now ;)

also wanna say thank you for all the comments and kudos. i really appreciate it. i love you guys 💖💕💕

hope you enjoy the next chap :>


	9. sippy cup

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> stray kids x jisung  
> kidfic  
> everyone is whipped for baby jisungie  
> they're actual kids  
> 00 line - four years old  
> jeongin - three  
> chan and woojin - seven  
> minho - six  
> changbin - five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> baby stray kids  
> sorry if there's mistakes <3

four year old jisung climbed up his way on the big stairs. smiling when he got to the top, trying to reach the door knob but couldn't. 

he huffed and tried jumping but his water bottle fell out of his bottle pocket on his backpack. he grunted and bent down to get it. 

" i can reach sungie!" jisung flinched at the loud yelling and looked up to see hyunjin running over to the stairs. 

" hyunnie no wun. fall." jisung said. short on words. having trouble to ace talking verbally fully yet. 

he's a very sensitive child, yelling or any loud noise scares him. if someone even slightly shows they're annoyed with him, he'll know and leave them alone. but he cries, upset that he made someone not like him. 

hyunjin immediately listened to sungies words and started walking. carefully going up the stairs and brought jisung in a hug. kissing his cute cubby cheeks. " hi sungie."

" good morning hyunnie." jisung smiled. he grabbed hyunjin's hand when the taller opened the door for the both of them. 

" hello boys. you can go right on ahead." the lady at the front desk said as the two bowed at her. 

minho was coming out the restroom in the hallway and he saw sungie and hyunjinnie walking. he looked at their hands and huffed. 

he laid on the floor and when he saw them coming closer he began to wail exaggeratedly. kicking his feet and waving his arms. 

jisung and hyunjin saw and ran over to him. 

" min hyung. why cwy." sungie asked. hyunjin trying to pick minho up. the older of the three sniffled and stopped wailing. 

he got up with a smile and grabbed sungies tiny hands, " i want my hand hold too."

" it's held hyung." hyunjin corrected him. minho stuck his tongue out at him. 

jisung was staring at minho, eyes wide. he almost tripped while they were walking cause he kept staring.

minho finally noticed, " what is it sungie?"

jisung didn't say anything, he stood on tippy toes and placed a kiss on minho's cheek. he got back down and then pointed at his own cheek, " kiss back."

minho giggled and kissed the younger's soft cheek" cute."

they got to the play room and sungie began to hurriedly waddle his way over to his cubby and leave his backpack.

he looked around with a big smile and shining eyes, looking to see what he wanted to do first. he saw changbin and chan playing at the toy kitchen.

changbin and chan protect and love jisung the most. he's their " baby." as chan said. they were the first three to join the small daycare. jisung at first was shy, sitting at a table alone and drawing butterflies.

chan and changbin went over to him when they saw jisung looking around frustrated. " blue. blue." they heard him mumble while pouting. chan smiled and went over with the crayon jisung was looking for. 

jisung at first was scared when chan approached him, but he saw the blue crayon in his hands. " hi, here's a blue crayon."

jisung slowly took it from chan's hand, looking over to see changbin staring from the table across. he smiled when they made eye contact, and jisung smiled back. cheeks puffing out. " thank you."

chan sat down in the chair and told changbin to come over, " my name is chan. this is changbin. do you want to be friends?" 

jisung looked at the both of them. another big smile beginning to grow. " sungie's friends! new friends. like." 

chan and changbin giggled. jisung showed them his paper, " draw butterfwies. sungie catch."

changbin, " you're catching the butterflies?" both the five and seven year old immediately catching onto jisung's verbal speech. 

jisung nodded, taking the paper from them, " blue color,, for blue butterfwy." he said and continued to color more. chan and changbin helping him out and complimenting his cute drawing. 

woojin came along.

woojin gained sungies trust quickly. 

when jisung had to go potty one time. he didn't want to tell chan and changbin cause they were busy with the buil blocks. 

he would tug on woojin's shirt, cheeks red and would mumble. " sungie,, potty. please."

and woojin would smile and take sungies hand, walk with him down the hall to the potty. he would even help sungie clean himself when he was done.

giving in when the younger called his name and looked at him with his big eyes and pout, " mommy helps,, sungie clean. jinnie hyung, help sungie?"

 

" okay kids, it's nap time." the lady taking care of them would announce. 

jisungie would waddle his way to his backpack and get his squirrel plushy and baby blue blanket. taking off his shoes showing his striped pink socks. 

he placed his blankie and squirrel on his spot and went to chan and changbin, giving them a kiss on their cheeks, " nigh nigh hyungies." and they would give a kiss back. 

he would lay in his spot but he rolled around and whined cause he couldn't sleep. he sat up and saw chan and changbin already sleeping. 

he turned and saw woojin laying down with a book in his hand, reading. jisung took his squirrel and went to the older. 

" what's wrong sungie baby?" woojin said placing the book down. jisung layed down next to him, " sungie,, no sleep." he pouted. 

" it's okay sunshine, do you want me to read you a story?" jisung nodded, already feeling sleepy from woojin's fingers running through his hair. 

" cinderella spent all day cleaning when the mice came to her. " no cinderelly-"

jisung giggled, " c,,, cindewelly." he said. closing his eyes again. listening to woojin's soft voice, lulling him to sleep. 

it was a bit tough with minho. 

he didn't want to be here, he was mostly quiet. and sungie thought it was a sign. he wanted to be the first one to talk to minho. 

they were playing cinderella when minho entered the room. 

jisung insisted on playing as cinderella. chan and changbin the mice, and woojin the fairy godmother. and they all granted his wishes.

" no cinderelly! no more cleaning." chan giggled. watching with adoration as jisung sat down on the floor, pretending to clean. 

woojin made his way over, holding a pencil by the tip  as a wand. " dear cinderella shall go to the ball. but not in pajamys. bibbity bobbity boo!" woojin said waving the wand around jisung. 

sungie jumped up giggling, " yay! pretty dress!"

" you're very loud." came a new voice at the door. they all turned their heads at the newcomer. 

sung gasped, " you,, sungie's,,, pwince?" 

" no," he said. and went to put his backpack in an empty cubby. jisung frowned.

" oh. sungie,, sowwy." he said looking down, eyes getting teary. 

the other three immediately came to kiss and hug jisung. " no jisungie, it's okay. don't cry." 

changbin looked at minho, his mean face on. he went to minho who was coloring cats. " you made baby sungie sad." he said stomping his foot and raising his chin.

" you're short." minho said. changbin stomped his foot again, " everyone short. not fair."

changbin went back over to sungie, woojin and chan kissing his cheeks till he began to giggle. " changbin kiss." jisung said.

 

woojin was absent the next day and when it was naptime jisung couldn't sleep again. 

he again saw his two hyungies sleeping already, curled up under the blankies. and then he saw minho, playing with two little cat plushies on his tummy while he laid down. 

jisung grabbed his own squirrel and crawled over to minho. the other noticed him though and turned the other way. jisung frowned. 

he sat down, criss cross, and tapped minho's shoulder, " no. i don't want play with you."

jisung shook his head even though minho wasn't looking. " play,, no. sungie,, no sleep."

minho turned around, " huh?"

" sungie sleep, with minho hyungie." jisung said. laying down next to minho. pulling the others blankie over him too. 

minho pulled his blanket back, " no. this is minho's blankie." 

" bu, bu sungie-" jisung began. beginning to cry cause he couldn't say the words he wanted. 

" sungie can sleep by himself. go." minho said. pushing jisung slightly off his spot. 

jisung sniffled and got up, hugging his squirrel to his chest. " jisung, you need to be in your spot love."

the lady said. jisung nodded and went back to his spot. pulling his blankie on him and laid down. tears leaving his eyes. 

he couldn't sleep cause he was gonna have a nightmare. so what sungie did was quietly talk to his squirrel until nap time was over. 

they were coloring when jisung started getting sleepy. he was coloring flowers with channie and binnie hyungie. and his eyes started getting heavy and his head was going down. 

" sungie. did you sleep?" chan asked. jisung shook his head.

" sungie,, scawed. no sleep. minho hyungie,, no,, let sungie sleep, with hyungie."

" aw, jisungie you know you could've gone to us. it doesn't matter if we're sleeping." chan said. chan and changbin went to jisung and grabbed his hands. 

taking him to the napping corner of the room and laid him down. bringing his blankie and squirrel back to him. " binnie,, channie hyungie, here." 

he pointed at the space next to him on both sides. chan and changbin immediately went next to him, holding sungie close to each other.

" sleep sungie."

 

the next day sungie came to his cubby and found a paper on the floor in front of it. he put his backpack up and grabbed the paper. 

he saw the cat drawing and the word in big letters, " sorry."

he looked around and saw minho at a table. shyly looking at him, looking away when sungie noticed. 

jisung waddled to minho, the paper in his hand. he smiled at minho, " minho hyungie,, for sungie?" 

" yeah, it's for you jisungie." 

" hyungie,,, like sungie?"

" yes, i'm sorry. was mean to you."

" sungies pwince,, hyungie?" jisung said. looking at minho with big eyes. 

minho nodded, " yes."

 

" thas mine!" someone yelled at sungie. jisung flinched, looking to see a kid taller than him. he got scared. 

" cookie, mine." he said taking the cookie from sungie's hand."

jisung pouted, " bu sungie,, sungie had cookie, fiwst."

" i was getting this cookie. don't want other." the other said. 

" hyunjin. share with jisung." the lady said. 

" bu my cookie!" 

" no scream. sungie don't like." changbin said, coming to grab sungie's hand. " now share."

" fine." hyunjin broke the cookie in half and gave one to jisung. 

nothin really happened with hyunjin and jisung. they just fought over something and forgot to share. hyunjin would feel bad when jisungie would cry, but he would be crying too. they're both sensitive. 

other days when they wouldn't fight, hyunjin would protect jisung a lot. as if he was his body guard. he would sometimes stand next to jisung wherever he was playing. 

 

seungmin and felix came together. they were really nice to sungie. well seungmin had to learn after he accidentally yelled at him. 

" i don't want play with you! only like felix!" he said. sungie staring at him. 

sungie sadly nodded and walked away. and seungmin gasped quietly to himself when he saw sungie crying to woojin and minho. 

he ran, almost falling over a toy block, ignoring changbin's " hey!"

" seungmin sorry sungie." he would apologize. cause who can stay mad at sungie? ever?

felix had it easier. he and sungie clung to each other a lot.

they would make a mess sometimes together when they painted. getting it on each other and listen to woojin's cries of cleanness. 

felix didn't know a lot of korean words, but it was okay cause sungie would show actions and he would understand.

jeongin came last. sungie jealous and sad that he started getting more attention than him for being the new three year old baby. 

especially when chan and changbin gave him more kisses. 

" sungie? what's wrong?" woojin asked when jisung was coloring by himself. 

" nothing." sungie said. starting color more roughly. woojin noticed.

" what are you drawing?"

" clouds. wain, sungie." he answered.

woojin saw another picture drawn by the younger. eight butterflies each a different size, he smiled when he saw a really tiny one that said " binie" above it. it was really cute how jisung tried to spell.

but he frowned when he saw a flower, " sungy" above it. there was no other flowers.

" sunshine. why is your flower all alone?" woojin asked. and jisung stopped coloring to look at him. 

" sungie flower,, alone. hyungies,,, fwiends play lil bit,, then leave." he said. woojin's heart clenching at the sight of a sad jisung.

sungie got up and went to his cubby. getting his things and walking to the door. 

" sungie where are you going? oh,," he saw jisung's mother waiting for him at the door. she picked him up and walked away, giving him kisses. 

woojin went over to all the other boys where they were playing with jeongin. " boys. we need to talk."

they were all occupied with jeongin, cooing at him and calling him to look at them. " guys."

" jeongin!! innie look over here."

" guys!!" woojin was getting frustrated. 

" he's so cute look!"

" sungie's hurt." he stomped his foot. they immediately stopped and looked at him. chan standing up, " he's hurt?"

" yes! because of us." woojin sighed. he went to go sit it the blue rocking chair next to the book shelf, his feet dangling and not reaching the ground.

" we've been ignoring him. he wants to play with us too." 

" but we have been, he's been with us playing with jeongin." they all looked around and didn't see him anywhere. 

" his mother came. he left early."

the other boys became sad, felix and hyunjin were close to crying. 

" sungie sad."

" i have a plan."

 

 

when jisung came to the daycare it was quiet. he laughed to himself while he waddled to his cubby. " sungie fiwst. sungie fiwst."

he went to the toy box and started to play with the toy dinosaurs. little roars and growls leaving him. 

he heard something fall and looked around, a crayon box has fallen. sungie pouted, he was scared now.

he whimpered and continued to play with the dinosaurs, trying to ignore it. 

something else fell again. this time it was his backpack. he got up and started running out the room down the hallway. 

tears coming out of his eyes. he sniffled and turned the corner. going to the potty to hide. he wailed when voices shouted, " boo!"

he fell on his bum, sungie brought his little hands up to wipe his eyes. but he was crying harder now. 

" sungie! no i'm so sorry. didn't mean to scare you." minho said. bringing the smaller in his arms, jisung grabbing his shirt tightly. 

" s, scawe. scawe sungie." jisung sobbed. chan placed jeongin down and went to hug as well. 

" we're sorry baby sungie. we wanted to play with you." he said. 

jisung sniffled, " play? hyungie,,, with sungie?"

" yes. 'posed to be suprise, but sungie got scared." seungmin said. 

they all joined the hug, jeongin on the floor sucking his thumb. 

" we're sorry baby sungie."

" alone no more." felix said. sungie sniffled again and poked felix's cheek. 

" what do you want to play sungie?"

 

 

 


	10. what if (+-)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> woosung  
> fluff  
> until the end 👀  
> really short  
> tw // character deaths

" hyung, what if i asked you out." 

" jisung, we're on a date right now." 

jisung only gave off a gummy smile and grabbed woojin's hand. putting the spaghetti in his mouth. 

 

" what if i kissed you hyung."

" but,,, you're already kissing me."

jisung giggled. nipping at woojin's neck. they were at the olders house. cuddling at the couch watching a movie.

 

" what if i held your hand."

" i would take you anywhere you wanted to."

woojin watched as jisung jumped up and down. eyes glowing as he saw the stars in the night sky. waving at mickey. disney was one of the places jisung wanted to go to. and if you asked woojin? jisung was the brightest star.

 

" hyung what if i hugged you."

" i wouldn't let you go."

and jisung wrapped himself around woojin. legs tangled and arms tied. woojin giving soft kisses on jisung's cheeks.

 

" hyung, what if i touched you here."

" i wouldn't control myself."

it was night. they shared kisses and held hands as they made love. jisung crying while woojin softly entered in and out of the younger. whispering sweet nothings in his ear.

 

" i would die for you hyung."

" you fucking idiot. you didn't say what if."

woojin said as he carried jisung to the hospital. he stood in front of woojin as jisung noticed a man following them. they were only going for a stroll around the city. 

 

jisung was on the bed. the white color sickening to woojin, surrounding him too much. 

jisung grabbed his hand, 

 

" what if i said, i love you. hyung."

" i love you too sungie."

jisung gave woojin a smile before flatlining.

 

 

woojin looked through their photos together. going through the memories and the what if's jisung would ask. 

_" what if i joined you jisungie."_

_" i would smack you."_

_woojin only smiled as he took the younger's hand. both beginning to walk towards the light._

 


	11. cutie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> " give me some reactions!" - jisung  
> angstyangsty
> 
> tw // insecurities!

 

jisung pouted and poked at his own cheeks, tilting his head side to side, " hyung~ can you please go buy me candy? hmph hmph~."

changbin looked at jisung, eyes narrowing as he stared at jisung, " no."

" why not~" jisung asked, puffing out his cheeks more.

" cause you're disgusting." the older said, looking back at the tv. 

" what?,," jisung muttered to himself. feeling his blood rush down his body, face heating up. 

changbin only shook his head, sighing. jisung stood up and went to someone else. 

ignoring the pang he felt in his chest as changbin's words echoed in his head. he was used to the insults, he got them all the time. but he didn't like them, at all. 

he hated how those words hurt him so much. why was he the only one who got bullied by the members?

 

 

" how about han? let's see your aegyo." the host said. the members automatically letting out groans of disgust and turning away. 

but jisung smiled away the fact that he wanted to bury himself underground. he didn't want another wave of insults and mean names being directed at him. 

" count to three please." he said, readying himself for the hate he was about to receive. 

he didn't get it. why so they always come at him for trying to be cute. what did he do for them to dislike him. was he not pretty enough? was his face not good enough?

" one two three!"

" buing!~" he said to the camera, posing cutely. holding it and then closed his eyes, putting his head down. listening to the members complain. 

" eww!"

he slowly put his arms down, but remembered the camera directed at him. he put on a sheepish smile and rubbed at the nape of his neck. " sorry~"

after the show they were walking to the rooms to change. he felt an arm wrap around his shoulder and turned his head. seeing minho smiling at him, he felt warmness in his heart. 

" don't try to act cute, it doesn't look good on you. alright?" minho pinched his cheek and then walked away. giggling. 

but jisung just stood there. hearing the words ring through his head. " don't do that again okay? it was horrible!" felix laughed as he walked past him, slapping his shoulder. 

causing jisung to stumble a bit on his footing, but being able to stand straight. he looked down. eyes burning from the forming tears. 

 he was a fool. 

" jisung! we gotta go get changed!" chan yelled from across the hall.

" why are you just standing there. idiot." changbin said. already changed and ready to go. 

he bit his lip and went to get changed. ignoring them once he was done and got in the car. sitting in the back, laying down and closing his eyes. letting out an exhale. 

 he heard the other members come in, but he blocked them out. their earlier words clouding his mind. 

 

 

jisung was sitting on his bed, their insulting words swirling around his head. the member's voices echoing in his ears, they wouldn't  _stop._

he knows he shouldn't take it to heart, they're probably just joking right? but it hurt  _so bad._

he's used to all the harsh words directed at him, his confidence going down each time. he's already been attacked by comments online. 

telling him to leave the group. that his cheeks were ugly. that his rapping skills were terrible. he gets it. and now his own members are hanging up on him. 

it's like a storm of darkness to him, clouding around him and suffocating him till he can't handle it anymore. 

the door opened and he quickly wiped a stray tear on his cheek. "hey, we're doing a surprise group vlive, c'mon." seungmin's voice came. 

" i-im not feeling it today can i sit out?" jisung managed to say. 

" no, chan says everyone has to be there. so get out loser." he said. 

" but-"

" jisung shut up and get out the room and fucking act like your in this group for once!" changbin yelled from the living room. jisung took a sharp breathe and stood up. going with seungmin out to the room and sat down. a bit more farther from them. " sorry."

the live started and they greeted the fans. jisung quietly sitting at the side, not saying a word, he didn't want to annoy the members any more than he already has. 

on the phone he saw comments, some of the fans seems to be noticing. 

**_jisung's so quiet, babyy :(_ **

 

**_jisung wink please!_ **

 

**_is anyone seeing jisung being quiet and alone? i hope he's feeling okay :(((_ **

 

**_jisung aegyo!!_ **

 

 ****" jisung aegyo? hell no, why do y'all wanna see that?" hyunjin said. jisung looked down, playing with the sleeve of his shirt.

" jisung's ugly when he does aegyo."

" he's ugly all the time!"

the members began to laugh. jisung looking at the camera, " sorry stays. i won't do aegyo. they don't want me to." he gave a smile as best he can. graciously giving a heart to stays. 

**_jisung,, baby :(_ **

 

**_he looks so sad though, my baby squirrel :(_ **

 

jisung looked down again. he was worrying stays, what's wrong with him. he blankly stared down for another few more minutes when he heard, " bye stays!"

he quickly looked up and did their goodbye, waving at the camera. once the vlive stopped he quickly got up and headed towards the room. 

" jisung."

he stopped.

" you're not gonna eat dinner?" 

" i'm not hungry."

and with that he went inside without another word. 

 

 

it was the time they were playing the "who's who" game. when he felt more like total shit. 

" why man, why you chose me man?" he was asking jeongin enthusiasticly. chan looked at him

**" no one cares."**

he played it off. letting out a sound and laughing, leaning his head back. but it felt like he was just shot. right in the fucking heart, and those words came from chan. his friend he's known the longest. was this what heartbreak felt like? all the blood he had,  _drained. his heart dropped._

was this all he was for the group? the punching bag? the loser? 

" why is han most likely to forget lyrics." chan said looking at him again. and jisung kept telling himself that the look in chan's eyes was _disappointment._

his mind kept convincing him the worse. on camera they were all smiling at him and laughing as a joke. but to him it was so much more. 

at the end of the interview he sighed. going to the dressing room with his head down. " uhm,, han?"

he slowly looked up at his name being called, it was the cameraman for the interview. " are you alright buddy? do you need water? anything?" 

jisung just gave him a smile, " no, i'm fine. thank you."  he said and continued walking. so stuck in his horrible mind he missed the cameraman calling chan over as well. 

he's been more quiet now. he knew he was loud and he knew the members hated it. so he tried to do everything he could to be less of everyone. to be less of himself. maybe that way they wouldn't hate him anymore, right? 

but then again they wouldn't notice anyways. even if he was gone.

 

they were back home in the dorms after their tour. they were gonna rest for a while. 

again the words came. 

" jisung you did this wrong."

" why do you keep messing up."

" what the fuck is wrong with you."

he just sat there, taking all the insults. hands clenched into fists as he looked down, tears forming in his eyes again. 

" can. can you guys please stop." he whispered. he knew he kept messing up, he knew he was a waste. he knew he was a fuck up. he knew he was a fucking joke. 

" no. you have-"

"  _please."_ he begged. he couldn't handle it anymore. it was all too much. 

" i get it okay? i know i can't do anything right. i know i don't bring anything to group at all, i know i'm horrible and ugly. i can't rap good enough. i don't look good enough, i can't rap well enough.  _i get it._ so please stop, i don't think i can deal with this anymore."

he felt tears falling down his cheeks with no mercy. they just kept falling. 

he felt the burning of their stares, eyes right on him. they were probably gonna laugh at him for crying. 

" hey, we-" a hand was on his shoulder. he flinched and backed away. he looked up knowing it was chan. he made eye contact with the leader. 

he stood up and looked at all of them. " leave me alone." 

he went and put his shoes on. hearing the members calling his name from where they were seated at on the table. 

he needed to leave. he couldn't do it. 

he unlocked the door and opened it. but before he left he turned, " i don't hate you." 

chan appeared from the kitchen, " jisung please-"

but the door shut. 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi ;)
> 
> part two???? 👀👀
> 
> please bare with me if there's errors i'll fix them.
> 
> i'm so sorry this is not worth the long wait :(  
> but i hope you guys still enjoy.
> 
> also i began school like three weeks ago that's why i haven't updated recently i'm sorry lovelys 💞💞💞
> 
> requested by and for ; dididinosaur


	12. pixie dust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> just a tiny fairy j!sung 🥺
> 
> he's pocket sized

 " hyung! it's big!" jisung yelled from where he was standing on the kitchen island table. looking up at woojin. raising his arms to show how big the shirt was, it was practically a dress on him as it completely covers his shorts.

" i'm sorry jisungie, i'll try to get the right size soon." woojin smiled down at him. jisung only smiled back and flew up to woojin's hands and wrapped his arms around a finger. 

" it's okay hyung. i like em like this. and you sewed it just for me! thank you." he flew more up and kissed woojin's cheek. the older giggling. 

jisung flew his way to the living room. placing himself on chan's shoulder, curling up and laying down. " hey princess." 

" hi hyung." jisung mumbled. almost falling asleep on the older.

" well aren't you a sleepy baby." chan chuckled. grabbing jisung's waist by his thumb and forefinger. placing the fairy boy in his palms. smiling as he looked down at the younger. 

" m not sleepy." jisung grumbled. curling into a ball. glaring when he hears chan laugh again. 

" how about you just take a little nap okay? you can play with us after." 

" don't want to. want to play." jisung pouted. looking up at chan, his flower crown beginning to fall off. chan carefully uses his finger to adjust the fairys' flower crown. 

" later sweetheart. our fairy needs energy in order to play." chan says. jisung pouted again. 

" take me to my bed?" he asks hopefully. looking up at the older still. 

" baby you have wings-"

" m too tired. please?" he gives puppy dog eyes. knowing it breaks everyone to do what he wants. 

" aish. we spoil you too much." chan responds, getting up from the couch. making sure the sleepy fairy in his palm doesn't roll over and fall. 

"but you guys love me." jisung said with a tired grin. chan gently placing him on his fairy sized bed in changbins room. 

" yes we do. we love you very much sungie." chan said, smiling when he sees jisung's wings flutter a bright pink glow. 

" i love you guys too." jisung mumbles. hugging his quokka plushy. his wings letting its glow die down as he finally slept. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> short and sweet 🥰
> 
> waiting for sam and colbys new video 😌
> 
> have a request up next 👀😎

**Author's Note:**

> you cute  
> i love your smile


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